As usual, I'm posting from a transparent place about a recent personal experience with being reminded of a deep truth that I was forced to rediscover. And that is...
WORDS MATTER
To use our words carefully and wisely can sometimes be a struggle because of the internal battle(s) that we all seem to have. There's the battle between what we, as Christians, hope to desire (based on an eternal perspective) and what we sometimes actually desire (based on a temporal, carnal perspective). There's the battle between wanting to accommodate our feelings at the moment and wanted to take care of the hearts around us.
These battles wage day in day out, and moment to moment; because of that, our words are often geared toward soothing a crisis of feeling, releasing a chaotic emotion, or some other need for relief or maybe even just a distraction from the mundane. Unfortunately, we are often short-sighted in the realization that words create - they create for the speaker and for the hearer.
Recently I found that I had been in a situation where words were used carelessly. All the while, I had believed the spoken words and trusted the speaker. During this time of discovery, it became apparent that the words I received had created a relief scenario for the speaker and a false sense of reality for me. The situation caught me off guard, to put it mildly. After everything was said and done, I found myself living under the influence of words that were, at best, half-truths. It was a confusing situation to be in.
All words themselves carry meaning, even when they are carelessly uttered. And to be sure, there is a reckoning that comes along with words. I didn't always understand this, and I'm still coming to terms with the reality of how words create. I'm working hard to have a greater realization of the power behind the words that are spoken. It's not always easy... I didn't grow up being taught this strength. It's a relatively new concept in my life.
In some ways, it is likely that we set ourselves up for believing words spoken.
For example, in my case. I have made an intentional effort to be open and unjaded, after coming out of a toxic marriage and difficult divorce. As part of that effort, I have chosen to give and take communication at face value. I choose to no longer take part in manipulative or coercive relationships, to play guessing games and be or deal with passive-aggressive personality disorders. One way I am intentional in this is choosing to be authentic, honest and transparent with those in my life. In my world, this means what I say is what you get and I tend to anticipate that to true on both sides. I've learned that's not so. Not everyone responds to honesty with honesty and that tends to make relationships unhealthy and difficult to navigate.
I sincerely hope to be able to walk my people through to healthy communication goals, greater integrity, true authenticity in relationships. No one gets it right all the time (especially me) and in thinking through that the verses from Romans 7 came to mind, "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For, I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it but it is sin living in me that does it." (NIV)
Will it ever get easier? I suppose when we walk equally yoked it does, but then how do we mentor or effect growth in others who need it...?
I'm so thankful for the promise of God that He is with us through difficult trials of life. Lord, let me always be careful to walk closely with You!