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Healthy and Unhealthy Boundary Setting



Let me start this relationship post by stating; boundaries are completely and absolutely, beyond a shadow of any doubt, super-duper necessary when people are continuously abusive. HOWEVER, it's becoming increasingly popular for professing Christians to set unChristlike "boundaries" in their relationships.
You know, we do intentionally choose our closest friends but ultimately God chooses who comes into our lives and we’re naïve to think everything between family members (spiritual & physical) will be smooth sailing. I mean, we all have wounds, we all have broken and weak places in our heart. Most have some point of unmet need that impacts their daily life. And beyond that, people are allowed to have a bad day... once in a while, at least 
It is through knowledge of our own shortfalls and our love for God can we repent, and it is in our desire to be Christ-like that we choose to do the work of growing for ourselves, choosing to forgive (self & others) and that we can persevere in difficult spiritual and physical family relationships (Eph 4:32; 1 Peter 4:8).
In situations where boundaries are necessary, they should be part of a well-thought-out plan to improve and restore relationship, not end it. After all, a healthy boundary setter will realize that boundaries are firstly about their own choices and interactions, not about limiting the choices or actions of another person. Furthermore, a healthy boundary setter will understand that a limit (a boundary) is changeable as the situation changes so does the boundary.
So please understand that when abuse and misuse are not involved in a relationship, boundaries that limit contact are usually an excuse to harbor anger, to avoid difficult discussion, to avoid seeing one's own shortcomings, and/or to manipulate or punish those with whom we are angry.
These sorts of "boundaries" feed the spirit of pride and self-right-ness. They violate biblical principles and limit the work of Christ in our lives to mature us and cause us to be others-focused instead of self-focused.
Setting these kinds of "boundaries" may seem like the easiest way to deal with difficult relationships; And it may be easy in the beginning, but friend, please listen here, it's sheer emotional & spiritual laziness.
Continuing to set "boundaries" that allow you to avoid honest conversation, self-sacrifice, and Christ-like love, will in the long run cause you to lose out on a great growth-producing season in your life and the lives of those you are called to love. 
Let us ask God through Christ and the power of the person of the Holy Spirit to teach us how to be like Him, especially in difficult relationships.
Thanks for taking the time to read this long post 
I love you! And I want our great big God-family to grow in spiritual health so that our relationships will be a solid testimony of Christ at work in humanity. In our choosing to be healthy in relationships, grace gets the win every single time!

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